


stochasticism

by Elon Musk (baqh)



Category: AOA | Ace of Angels, Block B
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:14:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8352325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baqh/pseuds/Elon%20Musk
Summary: the human brain is a peculiar thing...





	

“No! Wait!” Zico reached out to grasp Seol-Hyun slender wrist as she tried to turn away, “Please don’t do this. I’ll do anything to make this work.”

 

“No, Zico-oppa.” Seol-Hyun paused, a sad look in her glossy eyes, “There’s nothing you can do or say that would change my mind.”

 

And with that, she twisted out of his weak hold and walked away, out of his life.

 

Zico has never been particularly good with maintaining long-term relationships, or short-term ones.

 

 _She’s the third one this year._ Zico thought bitterly.

 

He had often contemplated on the matter, of why his relationships never work out, and why it’s always the girl that decides to end it with him. Perhaps it is because he values his work as a K-Pop idol more than his lovers, perhaps they’re afraid of being in the center of an idol dating scandal, or simply perhaps he’s not a good enough man.

 

Although there is another “factor” in Zico’s life that prevents him from forming meaningful relationships, but he pushes that thought to the back of his mind. It isn’t denial if you don’t think about it.

 

“Ah, well.” Zico breaths out, and heads back to the studio.

 

\- - -

 

“Zico-hyung!”

 

Zico was being shaken gently by strong arms. He tried to bring himself to full consciousness, but he was too tired, too sad to wake.

 

“Zico-hyung, you’re gonna get sick if you sleep like this!” the voice persists, “we have to comeback next month! Don’t you forget.”

 

Zico slowly opened open his eyes to find a worried Jihoon kneeling beside him. He sat up wordlessly and tried to recall last night’s events.

 

\- - -

 

It was around 12 a.m. that he got back to the office. He tried to work on some tracks, but his mind was too unfocused to produce any useful work. Thus he decided to head to the practice room to hone his dancing. After all, his group is releasing a new single next month. Plus, he could really use the physical distraction.

 

He lost himself in the music, moving as if he and the rhythm are one. Time passed effortlessly, and with that Zico grew tired. But he did not stop nor rest, as he needed the distraction.

Unsure of how many hours that had passed, Zico collapsed onto the wooden practice room floor with a thud; his clothes drenched with sweat and his body ached with pain. Understanding his body is at its limit, Zico slowly peeled himself off of the floor and headed towards his office. There, he would sleep curled up on the couch.

 

\- - -

 

“What time is it?”

 

Jihoon looked at his designer watch, “around 9. Hey, are you okay? Why did you stay the night?”

 

“I just needed to practice the dance a bit more,” Zico says; it is not entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth, “nothing to worry about.” He ended with a smile.

 

He could see that Ji-Hoon was not entirely convinced, but it wasn’t unusual for Zico to stay all night at the studio for work.

 

“Hey!” Zico swiftly stood up (which was a mistake, as his muscles burned from the events of last night) and swung his arm around Ji-Hoon’s shoulders, “I’m fine! Really!”

 

Ji-Hoon replied with a gentle smile.

 

“I’ll have to quickly run back home,” Zico scanned himself in disgust. It was humid in Korea, the perspiration from last night’s practice has not yet dried off,  “shower, get a change of clothes, all that.”

 

Jihoon nodded, “I’ll be here, running over my lyrics.”

 

“Great!” Zico patted his young friend on the back and left.

 

\- - -

 

It was not long before Zico got back to the shared apartment. After all, the band agreed upon this location due to its close proximity to their studio.

 

Zico quickly realized that he was the lone member in the apartment. Perhaps the others had left for the studio already, to practice for their upcoming single.

 

The shower is known to be a place for epiphanies; perhaps a solution to a particularity difficult math problem, or perhaps the realization that humanity’s existence is inside a well-made simulation. But for Zico, it was something else.

The shower was a familiar place to him; a place to unwind after a long day, to let his muscles relax, or a place where song ideas formulate. The shower has a permanent place in Zico’s heart, he enjoyed showers.

 

However, he was unprepared for the crushing realization that would come about him today. Without a second thought, he hopped into the nicely tiled space, ready to rinse the grime off of his body.

 

The human mind is a peculiar thing, often known for stochastic thoughts. Perhaps they are screams from the human subconscious, or perhaps they are just a result of accidental currents of electrons between the synapses in your brain.

 

For Zico, at least, he had never given them a second thought.

 

It was not long into the shower that a thought crossed Zico’s mind, a thought with a potential to change his life. Somehow, it had made so much sense, it was as if everything before his moment had been a lie. For the first time, Zico felt as if he was seeing the world clearly.

  
Finally, the question Zico has been struggling with for almost a decade has been definitively answered, that yes, Zico does is gay.

\- - - 

author's note: hi please don't hurt me just jk. please leave me a comment telling me how i did

inspired by: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Uy4jBAc6NQ>


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